


If only I could hold you, one last time

by Padfoot_Lupin



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Amortentia, Beards (Relationships), Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Gay Male Character, Grief/Mourning, Homophobic Language, Hook-Up, Internalized Homophobia, Jealous Draco Malfoy, Jealous Harry, Love Triangles, M/M, Oblivious Harry, Secret Relationship, Slow Burn, Wizarding Wars (Harry Potter), don't know if this counts as slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-13 03:54:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29022288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Padfoot_Lupin/pseuds/Padfoot_Lupin
Summary: When Draco comes out in fifth year and Harry and Draco’s joke flirting soon turns into study dates and eventually there head over heels in love with each other. Only after two years of there on again and off again romance, did Voldemort find out. So natural one of them ends up paying the ultimate price leaving the other angry and filled with grief and in the middle of the battle. Will the boy ever manage to get over it or will he to die at the hands of Voldemort?
Relationships: Daphne Greengrass/Theodore Nott, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Theodore Nott, Harry Potter/Original Male Character(s), Seamus Finnigan/Harry Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 49





	1. The coming out's

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic and I hope you like it. It’s a bit slow at the beginning but I promise it gets better if you stick with me and it till the end.

**Draco**

It was summer before his fifth year at Hogwarts, he’d known for a while and honestly wasn’t to sure why he didn’t already tell people. Being gay was completely okay with the whole wizarding world, it had been for centuries. They never understood why muggles had such a problem with it. So he decided he’d tell his parents, he entered the dining room and sat down at the long black table opposite his mother. Tonight was one of the few nights they hadn’t had any guests in the manor. They’d been coming all summer, spending the whole time having secret conversations with his father. Draco knew what they were about tho, he knew what happened at the triwizard. "Umm mother father there’s something I’d like to talk to you about,” Draco spoke in no more than a whisper. "Go on Draco,” came his mother voice, more gentle than normal she must be able to tell something was bugging him. "Well umm... I like boys the ways I’m supposed to like girls,” he spoke whilst keeping his stare fixed on a spot on the wall. He heard his father put down his cutlery, "Draco” there was a pause before he spoke again. "Look at me son,” Draco looked at his father and for the first time in a while he looked back at him like he did truly care for his son. "Okay... but the golden rule of your dating life still stands, only slytherins. Got that?” "Yes father” . Draco felt beyond relieved to finally have said it. The dinner went on as normal and so did their summer.   
  


They'd been back at Hogwarts for about for about 2 weeks now, he hadn't told people at school yet he wanted to and the only question was how and when. He felt more cautious about doing it at school he didn't know why tho he was still Draco Malfoy a Pureblood feared by most other students the fact he liked blokes not girls wouldn't change that. The only people in school who might not be happy about it were any mudbloods but he could handle them, they wouldn't do anything that bad anyways. Right? Right. He still couldn't figure out how he wanted to do it other than he knew he wanted to do it in the most quick way possible. His entire day was spent coming up with a way, he only managed to come up with one at dinner: it was perfect he thought and it didn't require much work on his part. He stayed at the table in the great hall with Pansy until he notices a third year group of Slytherins get up and leave, he didn't know much about the girls other than they could spread gossip quicker than The Daily Prophet. He waited till everyone other than Pansy and the gossipy group were out of earshot ”Listen Pansy I need to talk to you about something,“ he heard the third years hush their voices a bit and were doing a not so subtle job at listening in. "Alright what's up D," responded Pansy with a sort of intrigued tone in her voice, "Well umm there's this thing that I've known for a while and I told my parents over summer and I want to tell people at school as well," he didn't know if it was best to just say it or to say a bit before. Pansy linked her arm through his and put her head on his shoulder, she often did this if she was tired or one of them was upset over something. "Alright, what is it?" She asked in the same gentle tone his mother had in the summer. "Well Pansy, I'm gay," he'd never actually said that word out loud before even when he told his parents, it felt really good to tho. Pansy lifted her head up off his shoulder to look him in the eyes "Seriously?" She asked as Draco tried to recall a time he'd ever seen her so shocked before. "Yes seriously pans," he answered noticing how the third years looked shell shocked and he knew his plan had worked. Pansy rested her head back onto his shoulder and they carried on in silence for a few seconds "you know I still love you right D not in that way obviously, but your my best friend and it's okay with me if you wanna be with boys," came a rather tired voice off his shoulder. "I know and I love you too pans." They'd arrived at the entrance to the Slytherin common room the third years quickly rushing over to some fourth years Draco being ninety nine percent sure he knew what they would be speaking about "I'm gonna head up for an early night, see ya tomorrow pans," he said while climbing the stairs to the boys dorms. 

He was only half way through his breakfast the next morning and he could tell his plan worked, not only had he been awaken by Blaise setting off rainbow fireworks in their dorm but he'd also had Theo charm his bed sheets to by glittery and rainbow as well. He didn't mind it, actually as much as he would expect himself to be annoyed by stuff like this, he didn't care because he was happy, even though nearly all eyes in the hall were on him, even the bloody Gryffindors were looking. Knowing Potter and the weasel they'd already have come up with a way to annoy him about this and knowing himself he'd like it a lot less than he'd liked Blaise and Theo's. 

"So Draco do tell us, who was your gay awakening then?" Blaise said while Theo and pansy laughed at the question. The three of them had been bombarding Draco with questions like these all morning, he was having fun laughing with them about the answers. "Now Blaise, I think that's for me to know and you to never find out," Draco said laughing hoping he played it off cool enough. They were only half way down to care of magical creatures when they heard a rather deep voice come from behind them, they turned to see a Hufflepuff Draco guessed around sixth or seventh year. He was also guessing he was a mudblood as he was wearing a pair of shoes with a weird Swish on them he'd only ever seen in the muggle world. "So is it true then, that the Malfoy heir is a f**got," he felt a sudden flood of anger rise up in him "You filthy little mudblood-" Draco hissed at him before Pansy cut him off. "D come on he's not worth it," she said while grabbing his arm to pull him back as he turned around he saw an older group of Slytherins approach the Hufflepuff he smiled as he saw one draw there wand at the mudblood. Pansy,Theo and Blaise all gave him a concerned look as he turned back around, Pansy was still on his arm and Theo had put a arm round his shoulder. "You alright bud," Theo spoke in a what Draco thought was supposed to be a comforting voice but didn't work as his voice was too deep. "Umm yeah yeah all good," he could tell the others didn't believe him but they dropped the subject. Draco's attention had shifted to the group of Gryffindors not far away from them which consisted off Potter, the weasel, Granger and Longbottom. As they reached them he heard a part of the conversation "I'm still shocked he off all people was Gay, if you asked me yesterday I would of said he was dating Parkinson," came the weasels voice. Pansy had obviously heard it too as they both looked at each other as if to say -never in a million years-.

**Harry**

It was about half an hour before Ron and him normally went to sleep, they were in their dorm whilst the other boys were still in the common room. "Why'd you think he chose to do it now?" He heard Ron say pulling him out of his thought of Malfoy. He was beyond shocked as he heard about Malfoy being like him. "Who? And do what?" Harry asked as he was beyond confused about what Ron was on about now. "Malfoy, I mean why'd you think he chose to do it now with everything that's going on, I recon he's got a boy," he felt weird as he heard the mention of Malfoy with another boy but he just brushed it off. "I don't know he doesn't need a boyfriend to come out, he might just thought it was time perhaps or got fed up of hiding in the closet," God Harry really knew about that last one. "Suppose. Could you image it? Wanting to be with another boy I mean, I can't." Harry looked down at his hands. He'd been feeling down all day and just really wanted the conversation to be about anything other than Malfoy or imagining being with boys. "Umm I suppose not, never given it much thought," Harry lied. "Ron would you tell me, if you were I mean?" Harry quizzed him "Of course mate, it wouldn't change anything between us even if one of us were. You'd tell me right?" Ron said looking over at his best mate seeing something was clearing bothering him. Harry looked down at his hands again, he trusted Ron and he was tired of lying to his best mate. "Yes I would tell you," he answered Ron who was now sat on the bed next to his. "Ron, promise you won't tell anyone," he tried to speak clearly but it came out as more of a whisper. "Umm sure of course mate, what is it?" Ron asked curiously. "Yes I can imagine it, being with a boy it's being with a girl I can't imagine," he looked up at Ron who was wearing a look of shock and caring. "So you're gay?" Ron asked after a few seconds. Harry slightly nodded his head, Ron came over next to him and put his hand on his back "It's alright mate, I'm okay with it and like I said it doesn't change anything between us, as long as you don't get a crush on me, we're fine,". Both the boys stood up and gave each other a quick hug whilst patting each other on the back "Thanks mate," Harry said quietly. Ron silently nodded his head " anytime mate, night" "night".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> by the way it does get explained in later chapters as why Draco wanted it to be spread.


	2. The flirt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry feels peer pressure from Seamus to tease Malfoy, he didn't want to do it because he knew it was wrong. He ends up coming up with a solution to embarrass Malfoy and still amuse Seamus. It was suppose to be a one time thing, Harry was having fun embarrassing Malfoy, he liked seeing him freeze up or so he told people. After a month Malfoy turns this back onto Harry causing Harry to admit to himself to whole reason he started to do this in the first place.

**Harry**

"Come on Harry it'll be fun, get back at the slimy git, for the past few years," Harry didn't know wether he should be concerned or not about Seamus' enthusiasm about this topic. The two of them with Hermione and Ron were on the way down to potions. "I don't know Seamus don't get me wrong I hate the guy but I think you should leave him alone about this. If you want to annoy him just call him a ferret again,". "Seamus if Harry doesn't want to do it, he doesn't have to. So if that's all you came here to talk to us about then leave," Ron snapped at Seamus. He looked back at Harry clearly annoyed this time, then slouched away whilst muttering under his breathe, "The way Harry acts he might as well be a poof himself," he didn't think he was meant to hear that so he left Seamus be. "Just ignore him Harry, if you snap at him about that you may as well tell him what you told me last night," Ron spoke as Hermione lifted her head out the book she was reading, giving Ron a puzzled look about the last part of his sentence then went back to her book.

Harry couldn't stop himself from thinking about Seamus' last comment, he didn't mean it. Right? right. Harry thought. He couldn't possibly know he'd only told Ron, was Harry just really obvious. Had he seen Harry checking Cedric out last year, did he see the way he had looked at the other boy. No he couldn't have Harry thought to himself, he had to change Seamus' mind. He knew what he had to do even though he hated the thought of doing this to anyone and yet somehow doing it to Malfoy just seemed to make Harry feel even worse.

They got down to the dungeons, Seamus and Dean were talking on one side of the doorframe and Malfoy and Parkinson were on the other side. The rest of the corridor was empty, just go for it, Harry thought. He walked up in front of Malfoy "What do you want Scarhea-" Malfoy didn't finish his sentence as Harry had pushed him up to the wall. He had his hands on either of his shoulders so to pin him down "Heard about your news, having been able to stop thinking about it actually. Wouldn't mind getting all up on that if you know what I mean," Harry whispered into Malfoy's ear. He stepped back and saw Seamus laughing hysterically at Malfoy who seemed to have frozen up in shock. "Guess I was wrong about you Harry," Seamus spoke as he handed Harry his hand, he clasped it and they pulled each other in hitting the other on the back. He smiled at Seamus but he felt awful about it. He wouldn't be surprised if Malfoy had used the cruciatus on him there and then. Hermione and Ron both looked at him in complete confusion.

"What the hell Potter, who gives one if D likes boys or girls, you little intolerable git, you don't have to tease him for it," Parkinson yelled at him whilst drawing her wand. "Pans, leave it that's what you told me to do yesterday, you curse him now you'll end up in detention with Snape for Merlin knows how long," Malfoy practically hissed at Parkinson whilst dragging her back to where she was before. Harry was confused at what Malfoy had meant at that last statement Snape hated him everyone knew that, if someone hexed him for embarrassing his godson he would probably have a party. Harry smirked at the mental image of Snape having a party it was both the most disturbing and hilarious thing he'd thought of in a while. Malfoy obviously thinking Harry was still thinking about the events that just happened, instead of his godfather drunk on firewiskey, spoke to him even though it was more of a hiss "I'll get you back for that Scarhead, mark my words." With that him and Parkinson marched back down the hallway somewhere, he noticed how even angry Malfoy had ten times more grace when he walked than Harry did, He was like this magnificent jungle cat whilst Harry was like this little puppy walking into everything and tripping up everywhere he went. 

With that the rest of the students started to come down from breakfast and Snape came from a near by office he saw Malfoy and Parkinson going down the opposite hallway he didn't bat an eyelid at it. Just his luck one rule for and one for another Harry thought. He stepped into the classroom and realized he'd forgot his book so that's at least 1 detention with Snape he thought. Merlin this lesson was going to be awful, plus Malfoy wasn't there. He noticed how he wasn't happy about that last part, Malfoy wasn't there he kept thinking, you should be happy. He wasn't though but he just brushed it off.

After the incident earlier that morning the news quickly spread that Harry flirted with Malfoy as a joke causing him to freeze up. "Come on Harry just do it one more time, we've got to see this," Fred and George pestered him over dinner. Hermione sighed and returned to eating her food. "What's wrong 'mione," asked Ron puzzlingly. "It's just I find it incredibly childish of you boys to flirt with someone just for the purpose of watching them get uncomfortable and I'd also like to know why your making a big deal about this anyway the wizarding world haven't had problems with it since the 1700's," Hermione spoke in a tone that implied she really wasn't very happy with the boys actions. "We don't have a problem with it 'mione, It doesn't affect me if he wants to shag blokes. We do it because after five years we've managed to find the thing to annoy him with, other than call him a ferret. It's payback don't you see," Ron tried to justify Harry actions.

It's payback Harry told himself that 's why you did it, he knew the first time he'd done it because of Seamus but he still wasn't sure why he was more than willing to do it again. Even if Fred and George wanted him to or not. "Anyways boys," Hermione addressed the twins, "If you want it done so bad why don't you do it yourselves?", "We would 'mione but," Fred broke off looking between George and Seamus. "He only freezes up for Harry you see, me and the twins have both tried it," came Seamus' strong accent finishing off Fred's sentence. Harry whipped his head around to look at Seamus. "What?", "Yeah he just hexes the rest of us," George replied.

Harry didn't say anything else the whole meal, the others carried on talking about the topic but Harry tuned them out. He wasn't quiet sure how to process this information, What did it mean? Did it even mean anything? He looked over to the Slytherin table Malfoy was their with Parkinson, Zabini and Nott. He seemed to be acting his normal foul self. Other than the fact he wasn't having any of the apple tart, that was his favourite he'd always smile when he saw they'd be having apple tart. It took Harry a moment to realise he should not know what Malfoy's favourite food was. He realized he'd been staring a while so he tried to focus back in on the conversation the other gryffindor's were having but wasn't very focused as his thoughts kept going back to Malfoy.

Over the next two weeks Harry would do it a couple more times. At first it was to stop the twins begging him but after the fourth time they got bored of it. Seamus and most others in there year still found it hilarious though. The only people other than the slytherins who weren't that happy about it were Ron and Hermione. Hermione thought it was stupid and a waste of time so she just tended to ignore it. Ron on the other hand was more confused as to why Harry was doing it as he knew Harry was also bent. He'd asked Harry about it a few times and always got the same reply "Like you said mate, payback,". Ron knew that wasn't the actually reason but gave up on asking Harry about it.

To be completely honest with himself Harry didn't know either. He liked being able to shut the git up when he would call Hermione a mudblood or if he commented about Ron's family. He also hated doing it though it would make Malfoy feel annoyed all day, as much as he tried to hide it Harry could tell. He'd keep the sleeves of his cloak over the palms of his hands and tug at them with his other. It was a habit of his and he only did it when he was annoyed even though he'd never admit to it as he always tried to hide it. Harry was suddenly aware this was not a normal thing to know about Malfoy but he put it down to having to sit next to him in lessons as the teachers forced them to sit in register order. He didn't like it when Malfoy got like that he wanted to be able to tell him to calm down and that he'd stop doing it. He always told himself he'd stop doing it but then Malfoy would do something to hurt Hermione or Ron and he didn't care anymore if it annoyed Malfoy but then he'd always regret it. He'd also noticed Malfoy had stop doing stuff to annoy him it was only ever Hermione or Ron. No scarhead, no comments about his parents, nothing. The only time he'd acknowledge Harry existence was when he'd tell him he was making the potion wrong and to let him make it so they didn't fail.

It was mid October and Harry was on his way back from the library he'd gone to pick up a book him Ron and Hermione needed for there charms homework. He'd just turned down a third floor corridor and tripped over his laces once he retied them he got the book and carried on, his left shoulder was hurting a bit but it was nothing he couldn't handle so he just left it. He noticed Malfoy was further on down the corridor, he probably loved seeing me fall over Harry thought. Once again he had that thought that Malfoy managed to move with grace like a swift jungle cat while Harry really was this little puppy tripping over everything. A few seconds later he wasn't that far behind Malfoy when he notice the other boy had started to draw his wand. Harry stopped walking so this is when Malfoy was going to get back at him for the past month Harry thought but Merlin he was wrong. 

Instead Malfoy quickly turned around and a second later he had the tip of his wand under Harry's chin and tilting his head up to look him in the eyes. "You know Potter, I couldn't help but notice you at quidditch practise the other night. Your good on a broom..." Malfoy continued in no more than a whisper with his face only inches away from Harry's. "...your swift, fast and you wear that tight jumper." Malfoy gave him a wink before putting his wand away and stepping back. He started laughing as he backed away "Looks like I'm not the only one who freezes then Potter,". 


	3. The Astronomy tower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Draco turns the flirting back on Harry. Harry has no choice but to admit to himself the actual reason he did this all in the first place. Leading the boys to secretly meet up at the Astronomy tower. Harry gets Draco to agree to something he'd never thought could happen. And Draco gets an quickly increasing worry about one of his friends.

**Harry**

It had been a week since Malfoy had turned the flirting back on him, he was sat having breakfast in the great hall. When he saw Seamus come and take a seat opposite him next to Hermione. "So Harry, what's happened to the Malfoy teasing?" "Yeah I was meaning to ask you about that to mate, it seems like you've been trying to avoid the git all week," came Fred's voice from next to Ron. Just my luck Fred takes an interest in this again, now of all times he thought to himself. "Oh well you know, It's been a month just thought if I didn't stop soon the idiot would think I actually wanted to bang him," he spoke in what he hoped was a relaxed tone. Seamus, Ron and the twins gave a little chuckle at his response. "I was beginning to think the ferret had done something back to you," spoke Fred. "Nah we all know he wouldn't hurt Harry," Seamus joked causing the other boys to snigger.

The past month Seamus had told rather a few jokes involving him and Malfoy, they always caused those around them to laugh a bit but they always annoyed Harry. He zoned out of the conversation at that point, which is something he'd been doing a lot of the past week. He was constantly thinking about something either Umbridge, the DA, Qudditch practise but mainly Malfoy. He couldn't get the other boy out his head, no matter how much he tries to distract himself, his thoughts always found there way back to his enticing blonde hair or those annoyingly good looking cheek bones. He hated admitting this to himself but Merlin he did find Malfoy attractive.

He allowed himself to glance over at the Slytherin table Malfoy was sat with his usual friends. Parkinson, Zabini and Nott. He was joking with Parkinson and Zabini about something whilst eating an apple. Once again his thoughts had made their way back to the events of last week. He didn't know why he'd frozen up, he should of just ignored it and carried on, not obsess over it for a week. Malfoy had only done what he'd been doing to him for the past month but he couldn't help thinking back to being so close to the blonde. Having there faces inches apart, he could of just kissed him right their. That's if he wanted to, which he didn't! He hated the other boy. 

He felt Ron shove his arm and he was brought out of his thought. He was still staring at Malfoy only now the other boy was looking back at him. "You coming to the library or not?" Ron asked him. "Umm yeah sure why not," he walked out the hall with Ron and Hermione. They all had a free period that morning he could spend the time planning the next DA meeting, he'd been meaning to do it for days. Anytime he tried to do it his thoughts got preoccupied by a certain blonde boy and something told him the same thing would happen this time. 

-

They'd been in the library for about 20 minutes and all Harry had written was "DA 12/5/95" on the top of the page before he was back on the topic of the blonde slytherin. He was trying to come up with a reasonable excuse for dwelling on this every minute of every day for the past week. His only conclusion about his feelings though was he'd recently developed a new found attraction for the other boy and he didn't like what happened the other night as their faces were so close together he could have kissed him, if he wanted, which he didn't. He didn't know why he kept having to clarify that he didn't. Then like a light bulb had been switched on in his head, he dropped his quill (which had been aimlessly drawing a heart on his parchment) and he stared out the window ignoring Ron and Hermione asking if he was alright. He let it sink in for a second. He liked him. He Harry Potter, the boy who lived had a crush on Draco Malfoy, son of one of Voldemort's most trusted death eaters. Merlin this was not going to end well. 

**Draco**

He was sat in the great hall with Theo, Blaise and Pansy. They'd been joking around about Blaise and him hearing Theo moan in his sleep the past night, the boy refusing to tell the others what he was dreaming about when he noticed Potter. He was staring at him, but not like he'd done in the past. Then he looked at him like he was plotting to use an unforgivable on him now there was something in his eyes. Something different. At first Draco thought he was sad but he soon decided it was more confused than sad. 

What's Potter got to be confused about? If anything he should be the confused one and Merlin he was confused he thought to himself. Potter was full on avoiding him, even though they've hated each other for five years they never did that to each other before. Potter would speed walk in the other direction if he saw him and he even asked Snape to change partners in potions. Which Snape actually agreed to which Draco was not expecting even though it was only for the week, so I'd be back to normal in their next lesson. Potter even went as far as to just not show up to the rest of the classes where they were seated next to each other, which was about half. Draco had heard a rumour that Potter was getting detention with McGonagall for this but he didn't believe it. Snape and Umbridge were the only professors who ever punish the boy who lived. 

He couldn't help but think it was his fault Potter was doing this. That maybe he'd taken it too far last week, but it couldn't be that. He only did to Potter what he'd been doing to him for a month. To be honest with himself he sort of missed it, not the freezing up and getting embarrassed, but having Potter mess around with him. He knew he only did it to make him freeze but teasing someone like that felt like the way him, Blaise and Theo would joke with each other. Even though it had been 5 years he still sometimes thought about how it could of gone differently if Harry had shaken his hand on the train or if he was maybe a bit more friendly to the little boy in Madam Malkin's.

"D, you alright?" Pansy spoke gently while shaking his arm. "Yeah, I was just umm... never mind," Draco stuttered as he turned his gaze back to the girl sat opposite him. "What's Potter done to get in your head this time," Theo quizzed him. "Huh?" Draco said while mentally kicking himself for staring. "That is who you were staring at right?" Theo said with a little more of a relaxed tone. "No, wasn't staring at anyone just zoned out." He hadn't told them about what happened last week and he wasn't going to now. Theo gave him a nod of understanding and the group went on their way to Herbology. 

-

It was a few days later and History of magic had just started. Professor Binns was taking the register he got to Potter's name and didn't even look up to check if he was there just marked him absent. This was one of the classes he would have sat next to Draco so he didn't turn up. Draco was beginning to wonder when Potter would ever return to classes, he'd been avoiding him for nearly 2 weeks now and with it being there O.W.L's this year he would have thought whatever problem Potter had with him he would of got over it by now. No more than a second after, the door to the classroom burst open. Potter, Granger and the weasel stood in the doorway "Come in, take your seats," Professor Binns said to them whilst Granger gave the boys a dirty look and went to her seat. The weasel went and took his seat next to a Gryffindor whom Draco wasn't too sure the name and Potter shuffled his way to Draco and took his seat. He looked at him a bit stunned for a second till he turned his attention back to his work. 

"What was that for Malfoy?" Potter spoke in no more than a whisper next to him, it was more relaxed than he'd heard his voice before. It usually had a sort of spiteful tone to it when he talked to him now it was more normal like when he'd heard the other boy talk to the weasel. "Nothing just.. umm.. just shocked, you've been avoiding me a lot recently," he replied trying not to sound as arrogant as he normally did as he's fully aware that would just annoy Potter back into avoiding him. "Yeah well I had to come back to classes eventually," Potter spoke. "Why'd you do it anyway?" he quizzed the other boy. Harry looked over at him, a look of annoyance and panic swept over his face. "I'm not getting into this now," he stated quickly and then turning to face Professor Binns. Draco knew he would regret what he was about to say and he knew his friends and his father would kill him he they found out but he did it anyway, he had to know what he did to make Potter completely loose his shit for nearly two weeks. "Fine, tonight, Astronomy tower, 7." 

He stepped out of the classroom and he felt someone put their arm round his shoulder he turned round to find it was Theo. "You alright mate," Draco asked as he was clearly down about something. "Yeah, fine. What did you want with Potter at the start of the lesson?" Theo responded. Theo was never one to talk about his feelings so he let him change the subject, "Just made a few comments about how awful the Gryffindor keeper is, the weasel won't last 5 minutes out there," he lied to Theo. "Oh so just the usual," he responded looking a bit happier than he did moments before. "Want to skip divination with me?, I don't want to deal with that old hag today," Theo asked. "Sure why not," and with that they both started heading down to the Slytherin common room.

They were about half why there when Draco looked round at Theo. He still had his arm around him and was looking down at the ground, "Mate, you sure you're okay? You know you can talk to me right," he asked the other boy trying to get Theo to at least spill a little bit about what's bugging him so much. He was normally quite happy and lively it was definitely odd for him to be like this. "Yeah all good, just a bit tired." Theo voiced as he gave Draco an obviously fake smile. They went on the whole day with Draco avoiding the subject. 

**Harry**

It was 6.30 and he, Ron and Hermione had just got back to the common room from dinner. They sat down to start there potions homework but he felt too anxious and had too much energy and next thing he knew he was pacing in front of Ron and Hermione whilst reading over part of his textbook. "That's it, Harry what's bothering you?" Hermione questioned him. "Nothing just got a lot of energy today, I'm completely fine," Hermione gave him a look as if to say she didn't believe him but she went back to doing her homework. The truth was that a lot was bugging him, he knew Malfoy was going to say something when he finally went back to the lessons they had together. What he wasn't expecting to happen was Malfoy ask to meet him, in private out of lessons to talk about it. He thought telling Malfoy no would be enough, clearly it wasn't. He still had no idea what he was going to say to the other boy. He couldn't exactly tell him he spent last night having a dream they were cuddled up on a sofa by the fire watching muggle movies, or that he's spent the last week obsessively thinking about him. "I think I'm going to go for a quick walk," he told Ron and Hermione, before grabbing his jacket and heading out the portrait. 

He still had about twenty minutes before he was meeting Malfoy, he decided to just go up to the tower early. Once he got up there he sat down leaning against one of the railing looking at the view. He hadn't done this many times before, it really was beautiful and quite peaceful. He looked up at the moon, it was a full moon, he felt a hint of sadness at this fact as he knew what Remus would be going through at the moment. He thought about him, Sirius, the weasley's they'd all become his family over the past five years and he loved them all dearly. At that thought he heard someone start to walk up the stairs and he got up and started pacing again quickly trying to come up with something to say to the other boy who was hurriedly approaching. 

**Draco**

It took him a while to get away from Theo in the common room. He was still in the same mood he'd been in all day, he made Draco skip the rest of their lessons that day and stuck with him the whole day. He managed to finally get away when Pansy and Blaise got back from dinner. He got to the astronomy tower a few minutes past 7 to find Potter pacing. "Why you pacing?" he questioned him, "Oh don't know anyway umm.. hey," Potter stuttered out clearly nervous. "Hey.. so you gonna tell me why you've been avoiding me or leave me to continue guessing," Draco said half teasingly as he made his way over to lean on the railings. "You've been guessing hmm mind if I hear a few," Potter walked over and leaned on the railing a couple feet away from him. "Well it was mainly just me thinking I took it too far with what I did the other week, you know the comment about your Qudditch practise," he admitted turning now to look at Potter. 

Potter looked down at his shoes then back out at the view, he looked like he was considering telling him or not, he'd been like this for about thirty seconds when Draco spoke up. "Come on Potter, I haven't got all night," Draco voiced clearly loosing his patience as it was more of a yell. "Sorry," Potter mumbled staring back down at the ground, he'd never seen Potter like this before he seemed somewhat fragile in that moment, he didn't know what to do. He settled for just stating "Sorry for raising my voice," he spoke this time trying to say it gently, he didn't know where his sudden caring for Potter's feelings came from but all he knew was they were definitely there. "No I'm being serious I'm sorry for everything about the last month, I did it to you loads and you did it to me once and felt so annoyed and embarrassed that I skipped half my lessons for nearly two weeks. I'm sorry that I call you ferret, sorry that I make fun of your hair... umm.. I'm sorry for the past five years." Draco stood their in shock taking in what just happened and based of Potter reaction to what he'd said he seemed pretty shocked as well. 

"Potter, I accept your apology about the past month but I can’t about everything else. I was a complete git to you and your friends and... umm.. I’m sorry,.. I’m sorry about making jokes about your parents or your scar and constantly getting at you and all the other stuff,” did he really just apologise to Harry Potter? Coming up here tonight he would never have guessed it was going to turn out this way but somewhere deep down he was sorry for what he did to Potter.

They stood there for a second just looking out at the view, "What now?” Draco finally asked the other boy, "I mean it’s not like we’re friends-" before he could carry on he get interrupted. "Why not? Why can’t we be friends?” Potter asked him rather enthusiastically. "Because I’m a Malfoy and you're the boy who lived,” he answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "So? People don’t have to know, we never even tried being friends, we just decided to hate each other from the start and because of what, your name and what happened to me as a baby,” Potter stated. He couldn’t argue with the other boy, he made valid points. "Fine I’ll give it a go,” he said before he could stop himself. "Okay, tomorrow 7pm, 7th floor outside the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy. Oh and bring your potions stuff," and with that Potter was on his way down the stairs again.

Merlin's Beard what had he got himself into Draco thought to himself. First apologising to Potter and now agreeing to try and be friends with him. But the other boy was right, they hated each other and for what? Things that happened 15 years before. I suppose meeting him once won’t do any harm and if it doesn’t go well we can go back to hating each other Draco thought. He didn’t like the thought of that though, hating Potter, he’d never completely liked the thought of it even in first year. But he never had the choice to hate or not hate him before, he was kind of secretly glad things had happened how they did. 

  
-

He was back in the Common room about ten minutes after he left the tower. He entered to see Pansy and Blaise at one of the sofa’s near the fire, they were doing their potions essay. He made his way over and said he'd join them once he got his stuff from his dorm. When he entered the dorm everything was like it normally was his and Theo's beds made whilst Blaise had stuff scattered across the top of his. He never had been one to like things neat but, he heard a noise coming from the bathroom.

It was a sort a sniffling noise sort of like someone was crying, he walked over to the door and put his ear up against it, definitely someone crying he thought to himself. He pushed to door open a bit to find his suspicions correct. Theo was staring into the mirror with his hands clutching each side of the marble sink. He looked towards Draco as he entered the room tears were flowing down his cheeks he opened his mouth as if he was about to explain but then closed it again. Draco slowly walked towards his best friend and put his arm around him bringing him into a hug, Theo completely fell into the hug resting his head on Draco’s chest. He noticed while in that position that Theo's hair had a faint smell of coconut. They stood there in the dim lights for a few seconds before Draco dared to speak, "Whatever’s going on you’ll be okay, you know that,” Draco whispered to him and after a few seconds he slowly nodded his head. They stood there for a couple more minutes Draco completely lost in thoughts as what could possibly cause him this much hurt. He was the last person he’d ever expect to see crying. 


	4. Amortentia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They met again the next night, Draco decides to brew a potion Snape had set him for some extra practise.

**Harry**

He woke up early that morning, got ready and then waited for Ron and Hermione. He sat in the common room on one of the sofas in front of the fire. He couldn't quite believe that last night actually happened. He was happy they could try and be friends, really happy actually. Yeah part of him wanted more but he knew it was unrealistic to go from hating each other one day to dating the next. That isn't to say he thinks they'll start dating after hanging out a bit, they might just stay friends and Harry would be happy with that. The fact he managed to be alone with Draco so long without getting hexed was still quite new to him.

"What you thinking about?" came Hermione's voice from behind him in almost a teasing tone. "Nothing.. just umm.. nothing," he was mentally kicking himself for not being able to lie to her. She gave him a knowing look but she dropped it and the three of them headed off to the great hall for breakfast. They'd just got out of the portrait hole when Hermione spotted one of her other friends from Hufflepuff, "I just need to speak to her for a second, do you mind waiting for a minute?" She asked the boys. "Yeah sure go," Ron replied as she walked off after the other girl.

Ron turned around to look at Harry "So mate, what boy have you fallen head over heels for?" Ron asked curiously. "What? How do you-" "Oh come on mate its obvious someone's on your mind," Ron explained. "Oh umm.." Harry didn't know what to say to him, he couldn't say it was Draco but he had to say something. "There's no one," Harry lied as it was the only thing he could think of saying. Ron just stood there looking at him, "I've never seen you like this before mate, something is clearly going on," and again Harry didn't know what to say so he tried to change the subject a bit.

"Wait, never?" Harry asked "Well I mean you were a bit last year but I just put that down to the triwizard," Ron said casually "Wait, was there someone last year?". 'Great' Harry thought to himself, 'Another topic you try to avoid'. "Umm.. just leave it Ron," he said trying to sound serious "Oh so there was, who was he?" Ron said enthusiastically. Harry knew he wasn't going to get Ron off his back so he said the only thing he knew would get him to drop it. "Fine, this year who I like is none of your business but... umm.. last year I liked.. Cedric," He spoke the last word in no more than a whisper, his crush on Cedric hadn't been that big but he still hated thinking about the boy. He didn't look at Ron anymore instead he just looked down a nearby corridor, he noticed Hermione walking back down it towards them. He nudged Ron and pointed his head in her direction to tell him. "Mate.. I'm sorry by the way about him.. I had no idea.. if you want to tal-" 

"Hey sorry about that, come on lets head down," Hermione said whilst standing between them as they made there way down to the great hall. She was going on about something for her Herbology homework but Harry wasn't paying much attention. He was thinking back to the conversation he was having with Ron, which lead him to think about Cedric, he'd got over the boy a long time ago but he still missed him. Even if it was just in a friend way. 

-

He'd left breakfast early, he wasn't really that hungry. He'd got to the potions classroom about a minute ago, he was the only one there so he just started to set his stuff up for that days practical. He had half his ingredients set out when the door opened and some other students came into the room, there was Draco and his usually gang and some Ravenclaw's. Draco went and took his place next to him before sighing and swapping some of his ingredients with some from of a shelve. "Honestly Potter, if you ever want to pass potions you might want to check what the right ingredients are," Draco said in a tone that Harry wasn't sure if he was suppose to take it jokingly or not. "Right ,sorry," he managed to stutter out, he wasn't quite sure what he was apologizing for, he seemed to be in a habit of saying sorry a lot to the other boy. "You and all your apologies," Draco muttered under his breath before the rest of the students filled into the room. He smiled to himself as he knew normally Draco would take great pride in watching him fail 'maybe this friendship could work out' he thought to himself. 

**Draco**

It was a few minutes past seven and he'd just arrived outside the tapestry. Potter was pacing again he decided not to interrupt as he looked like he was concentrating on something, 'I wonder if all our meetings will start with Potter pacing,' he thought. He stopped pacing then looked up at the wall as the doors to the Room of requirement appeared. He looked over to Potter, "It's the room of requirement, you pace in front of it three times thinking of what you want it to be and then it becomes it," Potter said enthusiastically walking over to him. He'd already known about the room as his father had told him about it when he first went to Hogwarts, he let Potter talk about it as he seemed to enjoy showing it to him. 

When they got inside it looked like a cross between a classroom and a common room. The walls were the normal castle walls with a fireplace in the right corner. There was a long green sofa in front of the fire with a wooden coffee table between them. On the other side of the room was a desk with two seats behind it and finally in the corner was a long table with potions equipment on. The room was small but it was nice.

"So, Potions?" he asked trying to get rid of the awkward tension between them, "Umm yeah... there's the two we.. have to practise for t-the test next week," Potter stuttered out before smiling awkwardly and heading over to the table, Draco followed him. They both slipped off there cloaks and hung them on the back of the chairs at the desk. As Potter did this Draco noticed a rather large scar on his right forearm, it looked fairly recent. He was sort of curious as to how he got it but thought it best not to ask, 'Why do you care about Potter's injures anyways? I don't. Then why are you here then, if you don't care for him? I don't know' he debated to him self, he'd been doing that a lot the past day but could only ever answer his own questions with 'I don't know' because it's true he didn't know. 

"So, you made this before?" Potter asked him, he realised the other boy must have been talking to him as he had a mental debate with himself. "Huh? What's that Potter?" he asked him "Draught of peace, you done it before?" he repeated himself, "Yeah a few times last year," he replied cooly as he set up him equipment. "Last year?" Potter quizzed him, he was confused for a second till he remembered that Potter wouldn't know what he was on about so he explained. "Ugh Snape sometimes gives me more advanced potions that what we do in class to practise," "Oh, cool I guess," Potter responded "Yeah suppose he likes to challenge my ability I guess. Anyway you doing that wrong, give it here?" He spoke as he jumped down from where he had sat on the table next to Harry's potion.

-

About forty five minutes later they'd made a successful draught of peace, only because Potter was doing most of it wrong so Draco had to do most of it for him as he just ogled at the other boy. Even though Potter insisted he made it and Draco helped. "Potter, you mind if you try the next one on your own? There's one from Snape I want to try," he asked the other boy who was in the middle of laying of ingredients "Yeah, go for it" he replied. He was kind of nervous to make this one he'd put it of for a while, he knew he shouldn't be scared because after all it was just a smell but he was scared to make it. 

-

They spent the next half hour making small talk about Quidditch and school and various other things whilst making there individual Potions. "Dang Malfoy, You trying to clone yourself with that or what?" Potter said teasingly at him. "Huh?" was all he managed to get out as he was completely confused as to what Potter was on about. "That," he said pointing to Draco's caldron "It stinks of Vanilla, Apple tart and mainly your cologne. What you making anyways?" Potter responded clearly not knowing what he'd just done. 'Merlin' he thought to himself, 'Harry Potter had a crush on me, vanilla is my shampoo, apple tart my favourite food and my cologne. Potter's gay and likes me. Merlin. The boy who lived has a crush on son of death eater.' "Veriterserum, think I've done it wrong though," he lied before he could bombard Potter with all the questions going round his head, he knew he couldn't do that though. 

"You think," Potter said jokingly, whilst he was trying to act as if he hadn't just heard the most shocking thing since his father telling him The dark lord was back. "Wait so you don't smell you?" Potter asked curiously, picking up on the thing Draco had whished he hadn't. "Um," he spoke more to himself than to Potter. He hadn't actually focused on what he smelt before, he couldn't quite make out what it was. There was a mixture of coconut, something he couldn't name but knew he'd smelt it in the common room and then a cologne, the cologne was the strongest sent but he had no idea who's it was. "Nah it's Coconut and cologne for me," he responded to Potter choosing the leave out the unnamed thing from the common room. 

"It's getting late we should head back," Potter spoke as he tided his stuff up. "Yeah so when you next free?" Draco asked as he started tiding his stuff up too and putting his cloak back on, the sleeve brushing over the top of his potion leaving a trace of the amortentia. "Um, Friday?" Potter asked, "Yeah, how about Astronomy up at the tower," he asked whilst picking up his bag "Sure, see ya," Potter responded as he left the room first. Draco only left a few seconds after though Potter was already gone. 

-

He was still wrapped in his thoughts of trying to figure out who's cologne it was when he got back to the common room. Pansy and Blaise were sat in the armchairs next to the fire and Theo was lying down across the sofa between the two. He was talking enthusiastically to them completely different to the last time Draco had seen him last night. "Hey, where you been?" Blaise asked as he neared them, Pansy and Theo whipped there heads round to look at who Blaise was talking to. "Oh nowhere," he responded "Just umm practising potions,". He stood next to the sofa as Theo sat upright to let Draco flop down next to him, he lay back down again this time placing his head on Draco's lap. He did this often with the three others but mostly to Draco. "You sure 'bout that D?" Pansy asked as he mentally cursed himself for stuttering. "Probably out somewhere with a boy," Blaise joked as Pansy and him laughed along with this. 

"No wonder why your cloak stinks of cologne then," spoke Theo. The other three laughed at that but Draco was in complete shock for the second time that night, not only for the fact that two people in the past hour might have come out to him without realising it because of amortentia but that Theo smelt cologne. 'Merlin, was Theo gay?' he thought to himself. "Cologne?" he asked him, "Yeah, why?" he asked curiously "Oh just um I don't remember putting any on this morning," he lied. "Oh so there is a boy?" Pansy spoke up in a teasing tone, "No I told you I was just doing a potion Snape set me," "Oh yeah he set the amortentia, didn't he," Blaise said casually while charming the fire to turn green. "No," Draco replied probably a bit to fast but he didn't want Theo to panic about the thing he'd just said. "Well yes he did set that but I wasn't doing that tonight," he explained this time more calm. "I ugh did veriterserum but just um did it ugh wrong," he stuttered out. "Oh well anyway, I forgot to tell you guys..." Blaise carried on having a conversation with Pansy.

"You alright?" Draco spoke quietly to the boy on his lap, he was staring at the wall with a confused look etched into his face, he whipped his head to look at Draco. Then sat up looking more confused as his eyes stared to wash over with a glassy look to them. He stood up and was on his way up to their Dorm in a split second. 'He figured it out' Draco thought to himself, "What was that all about?" Pansy asked as she and Blaise looked at him waiting for a explanation. "Umm I'll go and see," he said whilst he got up and headed over to the stairs. 

He wasn't quite sure what he was going to say to him, by the way he looked when leaving the common room Draco was fully expecting to find him in the same state he had done the other night. He wondered if that was why he was like that the other day but Theo wasn't homophobic he thought. He didn't quite know what to make of all this, he'd never really had a problem with it, he'd heard of people getting Internalised homophobia but he always thought it was just bigot muggles that had it. Theo had clearly taken it harder than he did, if he is gay that is but based of the last few minutes he was almost certain he was. 

He pushed open the door to find him leaning against a wall with tears running down his face, he turned round to look at Draco. "WHAT?" he yelled at Draco, it took him by surprise how much anger was in his voice. Theo then started crying again once he yelled at Draco, "The-," Draco began to speak before getting cut off. "You did the amortentia, didn't you?" he spoke this time calmer. Draco didn't dare to speak just nod his head, at this Theo fall down the wall and was now sat with his knees up on the floor. He walked over to him and sat down next to him, he put his arm round his shoulder and Theo rested his head on Draco's shoulder.

It was only once they were right next to each other that Draco smelt it, his hair smelt of coconut. He wasn't that shocked as he had liked the other boy a few years back, he wasn't to sure about his feelings now though. All he knew was part of the amortentia smelt like him, the coconut was and what he thought was from the common room, he was now certain was their dorm, The cologne wasn't though, Theo always wore the same one and was definitely not the one Draco smelt but he decided to ignore that part for now. He didn't know how big this part of him was but he knew that some part of him liked Theo.

"D," Theo whispered in an uncertain tone after a few minutes of them sat there. "Yeah," he responded as he absentmindedly rubbed circles into Theo's back. "I-I don't like it... I'm fine with others being it.. but I can't handle it... I don't want to be... different. I just I w-want to be like e-everyone else. I get i-it was easier f-for you but... I don't w-want it," he stuttered out as he looked up at Draco. "Theo," he spoke as gently as he could "Are you.. gay?". 

As soon as Draco said that he was up again and was pacing on the other side of the room, "Don't say that," he spoke harshly. "Th-," Draco tried to reason with him before getting interrupted again. "DON'T SAY THAT, DON'T SAY THAT ABOUT ME, DON'T USE THE WORD ABOUT ME!" and with that he broke down in tears again. "I'm sorry D," he said as he fell into the hug Draco offered him. They stood there for a while Draco felt like crying to, regardless of his feelings for Theo he was his best friend and it broke his heart seeing him in this much pain especially about something he had found so easy. "D, I don't know what I am and I don't want people to know anything yet," the other boy whispered to him. "Okay," this was the one thing he could relate to about everything Theo had said that night. "But, all I know is the cologne I smelt on you cloak tonight... It was yours," they both froze as he spoke those words.

They looked into each others eyes for what felt like forever. The next thing happened so quick it was hard to tell who started it but with a few seconds their lips were locked together, it was quick but passionate. Theo slipped his tongue into Draco's mouth as he grabbed onto his hair, Draco returning with his tongue and running his hands under his shirt up his back. They pulled apart as quickly as it happened and Theo looked haunted at what had just happened. He legged it to the door and started heading downstairs, Draco not far behind. 

Once he made it to the bottom of the stairs he just saw the back of Theo head out the door. Pansy and Blaise were looking at him completely confused 'I'll deal with them another time' he thought. To much had happened tonight first Potter having a crush on him, then Theo liking him, then the kiss and the fact he still had no ideas who's cologne he smelt in the amortina along with Theo. 'Your are such an idiot, your probably just lost your best friend' he thought as he kicked the wall. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just want to say sorry for the way this chapter ended and Harry and Draco do get together eventually but that won't be for a few more chapters.


	5. The Hoodie and the talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They study Astronomy together when Draco realised something.

**Harry**

It had been a few days since he and Draco had last met up, they'd seen each other in lessons but one of them was always with their friends. He was currently in History of Magic and Professor Binns was going on about the Giant wars again, he felt like he was just about to fall asleep when he heard the classroom door open.

It was Draco, he managed to slip past Binns without getting noticed and sat down besides Him. He looked like he rushed there from somewhere, his hair was more messed up than usual - though Harry would still consider it neat- and he seemed slightly out of breath.

He ripped off a corner from the parchment he was aimlessly doodling on and scribbled down a note, 'everything alright? y u late?' he pushed it across the desk to the other boy. A minute or so later he felt Draco gently nudge his arm then give him the parchment back, 'everything fine, just had to see Snape.' 'still on for tonight?' 'course potter :)'. Harry felt strangely happy at the smiley face, 'maybe he likes spending time with me as much as I do with him,' he thought to himself, but then proceeded to think it was pathetic he gave a smiley face so much thought.

**Draco**

He climbed up the flight of stairs to the Astronomy tower to find Potter already there. He was in his uniform but he had replaced his cloak with a black hoodie, "Hey," Potter turned round to look at him a visible blush growing on his cheeks.

"Hi," Potter replied as he went over to him and sat down next to him while unpacking his equipment. "So what did Snape want with ya before?" Potter quizzed him, "Oh just wanted to know how the ugh veritaserum went," he responded. "Bet he wasn't very pleased his godson messed up a potion, " Potter said, while plotting the Arcturus star on his graph. "Nah wasn't too thrilled," he voiced.

He didn't like lying to Harry even if it was something as small as what potion he was making. He didn't know why but it made him feel guilty, when he lied to his other friends he didn't get like this. It was only Harry tha- he was thinking Harry.

He wasn't Potter to him anymore, he was Harry. Draco supposed that was normal, they were friends but he was a pureblood and he had learnt from a young age that there's very few people you refer to by their first name. He only started calling Pansy by her first name after a year of knowing her. He decided he'd just put it down to hearing other people call him that so often in class and go back to trying to find the Canopus star.

"So, anything going on with you?" Harry asked him, he was expecting this kind of small talk given Harry's crush. "Not really," he replied in a casual voice, that was a lie of course but he didn't want to get into all of that with Harry. "Really? So no boys?" Harry teased him while smirking at him. Harry had a nice smirk, it was playful and sort of made his eyes light up. 'What are you doing, you're a Malfoy, you don't admire Gryffindor's' he thought to himself. "Nah no boys at the moment" that was another lie but he doubted that Harry would want to hear about Theo, besides he didn't even know what was going on between them they hadn't spoke since that night. 

He knew what the answer was going to be to his next question but he knew he couldn't just tell Harry he knew he was gay. "What about you Potter, got any girls?". He stayed silent for a minute without looking away from his hands, he had a look of concentration etched on his face as if he was debating something with himself.

He got up and slowly walked over to the railings whilst shaking his head, "Can I trust you Malfoy?" he murmured, "Course," he tried to speak as reassuring as he could as he had a feeling he knew what Harry was going to tell him. "It's umm.. It's boys not girls," he spoke in a voice so quiet Draco could barely hear him, he had his back turned to him now. Draco got up and walked over to him, he placed a hand on his shoulder and gently turned Harry to look at him, "Okay.. then got any boys?" they were both now leaning on the railings looking out at the sky. 

"Nah, not that long since I let myself accept it, deep down I've known for a while though," he spoke Draco listened to him carefully, he knew the kind of life Harry must have and he wasn't sure if he often opened up to people like this without thinking it'll get sold to the prophet.

"So did you not want to accept it or-" Draco begun wondering "Sort of... growing up in the muggle world I always heard bad stuff about it. It took me a while to separate all the shit I've heard over the years and what I actually thought about it." Draco just nodded at this, he didn't know what to say. All he could think about was if the last week had taught him anything it was Merlin he had it easy when he was realising. 

"So anyway what about you? When did you know?" Harry asked in a more cheery voice, while forcing a smile, clearly trying to lighten the mood. "Oh that," Draco hadn't told this to anyone before but figured if Harry could tell him that he could say this. "Well, I started questioning in third year back then I just thought I wanted to be really good friends with him but looking back on it now, I definitely had a crush on Theo. Then last year when I ended up on the Quidditch pitch snogging the face off of a Durmstrang, It kind of sealed the deal," he disclose. He could tell by Harry's face he hadn't liked hearing about the Durmstrang, but he didn't seem to let it effect his mood. 

"So Draco Malfoy liked Theodore Nott did he?" Harry teased him as he gave him a playful nudge. "Yeah," he muttered, he didn't care if he trusted Harry or not he wasn't about to start talking to him about Theo. Harry clearly noticed the change in his voice as he gave him a wondering look but soon changed the conversation a bit. "Can I ask you something?" Draco nodded his head to Harry "Why'd you do it the way you did. Don't say you didn't mean for those girls to hear, me and you both know you keep a eye on your surroundings at all times. You knew they were there," Harry had asked him. He wasn't expecting such a deep question. 

It felt weird telling something this personal to Harry but It didn't feel wrong. "Well I'd told my parents over summer and that went well.. so I wanted to tell people at school," he started to divulge. "It took me awhile to build up the courage though, I knew wizards were fine with it but didn't know how the mud-muggle borns would react," he didn't like having to call mudbloods muggle-borns but he knew Harry would get angry at him and as much as he didn't like to admit it, he valued their new friendship.

"So I spent a lot of time thinking about it and the more I thought I just wished there was like a button I could press so that everyone knew already, like a way where I could skip the hard part. I just I got scared to do it myself," he wasn't looking at Harry anymore. 

He looked up to the moon as he felt Harry's hand on his shoulder, "It's okay, everyone gets scared sometimes," he spoke softly and almost sympathetically. Admitting he got scared was hard for him, he'd been taught his entire life that getting scared was for the weak, he was glad Harry seemed to be able to understand that. "Wanna get back to the work?" he offered Harry "I think that's best," he replied. They both had seemed to have done enough talking for the night so went back to work in silence.

-

As the night went on it started to get rather cold and Draco was regretting not bringing a coat or jumper. He started to shake a bit and was just about to say they call it a night when Harry started taking his hoodie off. He pulled it off his head leaving his hair in more of a mess than normal, Draco thought he'd gone mad it was freezing. "Take it," Harry said while passing him his hoodie, "But you'll freez-" he began to protest suddenly caring more for Harry than himself. "I'll be fine, your shaking.Take it," Draco got the feeling Harry wouldn't let him say no so he slipped the hoodie on. 

He was about to go back to the astronomy when he realised it. It was the first time he was smelling it since that night, but it couldn't be. If it was Harry's cologne he'd have smelt it on him in the past few days, wouldn't he? "P-Potter who's cologne's on this jumper?" he stuttered out, hoping for any other answer to the one he got. "Mine, I don't wear it that often though," he said while flipping through one of his books. "Right," he said back barely audible, clearly Harry hadn't heard him as he carried on looking at his book.

'Merlin' he thought. His mind was racing with a million thoughts. He smelt Harry in the amortentia, he didn't know what to make of this. He couldn't like him could he? course not don't be stupid, he smelt Theo in it as well it didn't mean anything. He tried to persuade himself of this the rest of the evening getting very little more of his astronomy completed. He decided though tomorrow was Saturday so his day was free, he'd remake the potion to check the scent. It was the only reasonable solution. 

-

It was a rather pleasant day -well for mid October anyways- it was Sunday and he and Pansy had decided to go for a walk round the lake. He'd redone the amortentia yesterday it still has the same scent as last time though this time Harry's cologne was more prominent. There was no way he could deny it, it smelt just like the hoodie Harry had given him. He'd told him to keep it at the end of the night and Draco had worn it all yesterday and today. Though he was still trying his hardest not to admit to himself why. 

Pansy had linked their arms together like always and had her head rested on his shoulder. She was going on a bit about this dress she'd bought while Draco quickly lost interest and went back to his own thoughts. "D..D, are you even listening?" she asked him "Yeah of course, that's brilliant Pansy," he tried to lie. She gave him an unconvinced look so he tried to cover it up some more. "I was listening, you were talking about how nice your dress was," he defended himself. "D, I've spent the last five minutes complaining the dress didn't fit, I know you weren't listening," she revealed "Oh sorry," he replied.

"Nah it's fine, what you thinking about anyways, you seem quite preoccupied lately," she quizzed him. "It's nothing important," he tried to play it cool, "Is it a boy? and don't lie to me because you came back on Friday night with that hoodie, which you didn't leave with and you wore all yesterday and today," she gave him a knowing smile before resting her head back onto him shoulder. "Yeah it is," he told her in a fairly timid voice "If I asked who or for anymore details would you tell me?" she posed the question, "Not in the name of Salazar," he expressed. She gave him a nod of understanding before he went back to his thoughts and she started gossiping.

\- 

They'd only done one lap of the lake that day as it was far too cold for their liking. They had slowly made their way to the common room and where just about to step inside when they saw them around the corner. Theo and Daphne were running their hands through each others hair and had their lips locked together. He stood in shock he'd never imagined Theo and Daphne, he had so many questions. Was this because of the other night? Did Theo actually like her? Was Theo bi then? Were they going out or was it a one time thing? Why did Draco feel hurt by this? Why was he angry? 

He was snapped out his thoughts as Pansy coughed besides him and the other two scrambled around to look at them. Daphne started blushing as she realised she'd been caught, she quickly tucked her shirt back into her skirt and looked down at the ground. Theo just looked at Draco, he was also blushing but left his shirt half open. He stared at him in the eyes, Draco couldn't make out if it was a look of fear or annoyance. Pansy was looking between the three and clearly felt the tension growing between the two boys and so had Daphne as they both seemed to silently communicate to each other to go inside. So they hurriedly made their way into the common room. 

They just stood there awkwardly looking at each other for a few seconds. Draco didn't know what he wanted to say or if he wanted to say anything, or if it was even his place to say anything. "So, trying to make yourself straight?" he spat before he could even stop himself. "Well it's worth a try, isn't it?" Theo growled back.

"It won't work," Draco insisted. "Like I said, It's worth a try, isn't it?" he hissed back, his voice shaking a bit. "No," Draco voiced "But if mean less shagging with every girl in the school helps you realise that then by all means go ahead," he said sarcastically, leaning back against a wall. "I'm not shagging every girl in the school, I kissed my girlfriend and it's not mean less, I really like her," he spat as his voice got higher at the last part-something that Draco had noticed over the years only happened when he lied-. 

"Alright then, so say if I remade the amortentia, you'd smell her not me?" Draco posed. Theo stepped towards him, Draco couldn't decide if he looked like he was about to cry or yell. "Why'd you care anyway? Why'd you care who I go out with?" Theo was smirking now and looked desperate to hear the answer. Draco didn't know the answer to this, he wasn't jealous, well he wasn't that jealous. He knew he'd be more jealous if it was Harry and someone else but he felt annoyed that his supposed best friend didn't tell him he had a girlfriend and he was annoyed that Theo couldn't just talk about what was going on instead of doing this. 

"I don't care, I like someone else anyway," Draco spat before strutting into the common room and up to the dorms. He knew Theo would have more questions if he stayed and there was no way Draco was going to answer them. He was kind of glad they had that conversation he finally saw how much Theo was going to push this down. He lay on his bed just thinking about anything he could to take his mind off the argument. No matter what he was thinking about though. his thoughts just kept going back to the raven haired gryffindor seeker. 


End file.
